16 Things Emotionally Strong People Don’t Do

Here are some things emotionally strong people don’t do:

1. They don’t let negativity and drama get the best of them. – Your brain is a radio transmitter.  It broadcasts thoughts, directions and vibrations into your life – you get to choose the station it’s tuned to.  Emotionally strong people understand this and tune out negativity to make room for positivity.  Be wise enough to follow in their footsteps.  Walk away from the nonsense around you.  Focus on the positives, and soon the negatives will be harder to see.
2. They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves. – Emotionally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them.  Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life, work on changing what can be changed, and keep in mind that life isn’t always easy or fair.  In the end, happiness is not the absence of problems, but simply the ability to deal well with them.  So look at what you have, instead of what you have lost.  Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.
3. They don’t think they need more to be happy. – Emotionally strong people know that happiness is a mindset of appreciation.  In other words, happiness doesn’t start when “this, that or the other thing” is resolved.  Happiness is what happens now when you appreciate what you have.  (Read Authentic Happiness.)
4. They don’t compare their journey to everyone else’s. – Social comparison is the thief of happiness.  Do YOUR best and don’t compare your progress with that of others.  They aren’t YOU.  We all need our own time to travel our own distance.  Emotionally strong people know this is the truth, and they live by it.
5. They don’t envy and resent other people’s success. – Emotionally strong people can genuinely appreciate and celebrate other people’s success.  They don’t grow envious or feel cheated when others achieve something they are trying to achieve.  Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.  True confidence has no room for envy and resentment.  When you know you are great, you have no reason to hate.
6. They don’t expect everything to be easy. – Emotionally strong people don’t view failures and delays as reasons to give up.  Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve.  They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.  Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, emotionally strong people don’t expect immediate results.  Instead, they apply their efforts and skills to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.
7. They don’t say, “I can’t.” – As Henry Ford put it, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”  Emotionally strong people know this is true.  If you really want to do something, you can and you will find a way.  If you don’t, you will surely find a long list of excuses.  So stop saying “I wish” and start saying “I will.”  Turn your “can’ts” into “cans” and your dreams into plans.
8. They don’t let fleeting temptations distract them from their dreams. – Don’t let the temptations of today distract you from what you deserve.  Stay emotionally strong.  Do what you have to do now so you can do what you want to do later.
9. They don’t get impatient and settle. – Good things don’t come to those who wait.  Good things come to those who are patient… while working hard for what they want most in life.  If you know what you want, if you can see it, feel it and move toward it in some small way every single day… it has to happen.  Be patient and keep working.  That’s what emotionally strong people do.  (Read Awaken the Giant Within.)
10. They don’t make the same exact mistakes over and over again. – You can’t make the same mistake twice.  Because the second time you make it, it’s no longer a mistake, it’s a choice.  Emotionally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes.  As a result, they don’t keep repeating the same mistakes over and over.  Instead, they grow and move on to better decisions and new lessons.
11. They don’t resist change. – Emotionally strong people don’t try to avoid change.  Instead, they welcome positive change into their life and are willing to be flexible.  They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.  Change happens for a reason.  Roll with it!  It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
12. They don’t waste time and energy on things they can’t control. – You won’t hear an emotionally strong person complaining over traffic jams and rainy days.  Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives.  And above all, they recognize that sometimes the only thing they can control is their attitude.  After all, inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow an uncontrollable event or person to control your emotions.
13. They don’t hang on every word other people say about them. – Emotionally strong people listen to their own heart and intuition, not the peanut gallery.  So try not to take things other people say about you too personally.  What they think and say is a reflection of them, not you.  Ultimately, you can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you.  All you can do is change how you react and who you choose to be around.
14. They don’t think everyone is out to get them. – Emotionally strong people choose to see the good in others.  Because the truth is, the world is full of good people.  Whoever says otherwise hasn’t looked around.  So look around.  Appreciate them.  Connect and smile together.  When you choose to see the good in others, you end up finding the good in yourself.
15. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone. – Emotionally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time.  They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary.  They strive to be compassionate and fair, but can handle other people being disappointed if they didn’t perfectly live up to their unfair expectations.  The bottom line is, pleasing everyone is impossible.  May the bridges you burn light your way.  (Marc and I discuss this in detail in the “Relationships” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
16. They don’t think it’s too late to start over. – Let go of the idea that it’s too late to start over.  Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t… even if it means beginning anew.  Just because some things didn’t work out as you had expected, or didn’t happen as fast as you thought they would, is no excuse to give up on yourself.  Time passes one way or the other.  Do what you need to do so that, at the very least, you can look back someday and say, “I gave life my best shot.”

And remember, it only takes one idea, one second in time, one relationship, one dream, one leap of faith, to change everything, forever.  So hang in there.  Keep exercising your emotional strength.

By Angel Chernoff

Source:  http://www.marcandangel.com/2014/06/15/16-things-emotionally-strong-people-dont-do

Simple Things Bring Joy

People have these great ambitions... money, career, possessions, achievements and goals, but it's the small, simple things that make your life. If you miss those in the process of following your ambitions, you've missed the most joyous and worthwhile things of all. I've seen people do this and look back with regret and the inability to forgive themselves for their pride and folly. What they have lost far exceeds what they have gained. Those things never bring true happiness and fulfillment. I never want to be one of those people... and I never want those I love to be either. Be humble and trusting enough to seek what God wants for your life instead, and you can't go wrong! ♡

Repentance and Restoration of Relationships

Many think the word repent means "to get your act together", but repentance requires taking in a whole new point of view; looking at it God's way. God simply asks us to turn. This is the way we accept His gift. When we do, certain outcomes are promised. If we don't, or we "turn back", alternate outcomes are promised.  Following is an article about how repentance allows for reconciliation in our relationships.

1 John 1:9
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Luke 18:10-14
“Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

How to Restore Relationships through Repentance and Reconciliation

In a world where broken relationships abound, it’s good to know there is hope for reconciliation.  Relationships can be mended, but it takes a firm determination to take responsibility for one’s own faults and errors, and for making it right with the one who was hurt.  This is a difficult process, requiring putting away pride, thorough repentance, and reparation, along with the willingness of the other to forgive.  But reconciliation can absolutely be achieved in most cases.

1.  Repentance defined
The first thing needed for reconciliation is a thorough understanding of repentance.  Dictionary.com gives this definition for repentance:  “1. deep sorrow, compunction or contrition for a past sin, wrongdoing, or the like; 2. regret for any past action.”  While this is a good start, and repentance cannot come without it, this is really only the beginning of repentance.  

2.  Repentance understood
Repentance does start with regret or contrition, but it doesn’t end there.  Many people misunderstand repentance and don’t understand when others don’t accept their repentance as real.  Repentance actually means to turn and go the other way.  If you hurt someone, repent, and then hurt them again in the same way, repentance did not really happen.  Real repentance brings with it a radical change.  Real repentance is visible to others.  Real repentance says, “I understand what I did, why it hurt you and how deeply it hurt you.  I regret my action so much, that I will do whatever it takes to keep from doing it again.  I grieve over my actions so much, that I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you and mend our relationship.”  Repentance is a pricked conscience that makes a radical decision to turn from the harmful actions or inactions and toward helpful, healing actions.

3.  Repentance in action:  Reparation and Accountability
This is the key step to reconciliation.  Repentance is not saying “I’m sorry,” it’s showing “I’m sorry.”  Since you cannot rewind, you must go on, and to rebuild that relationship to the point of reconciliation will take repentance in action on your part.  For example, if you cheated on a spouse, you will need to make yourself 100% accountable to him or her for your time for quite some time to come.  You will need to re-woo the person and work toward fixing the things that lead to this in the first place, including being open and honest.  You will understand when the spouse is angry and hurt and doesn’t just jump back in your lap because you said you were sorry.  In other words, you will fully acknowledge what you did wrong, you will allow the other person to grieve, question, cry, or whatever they need without pointing out other problems or making excuses for yourself.  You will do whatever it takes to rebuild trust with this person, so much so that the spouse will have confidence that he or she will never have this happen again.  Yes, there is hope after adultery, but only when pride goes out the window and true repentance in action happens.

4.  Repentance brings forgiveness brings Reconciliation
Reconciliation implies a full restoration of the relationship.  Often, a relationship that has survived brokenness and found restoration is better than the relationship before this happened.  We also need to give the other person time to process, grieve, and forgive.  Even though the other person may have hurt you in many ways as well, this is not about that hurt.  This is about what you did, and bringing the other person’s flaws into it is a sign that true repentance has not happened.  Remember that we tend to maximize other’s flaws and minimize our own.  Real repentance recognizes and gives account for one’s own actions.  It really has nothing to do with circumstances or the other person’s flaws. It’s about turning away from the hurt we caused.  Often, true repentance brings about changes in the one who erred, but it also brings about changes in the person erred against as well.

Reconciliation is possible.  It is not, however, easy.  But by putting aside pride, recognizing the harm done and showing true repentance through your actions, you can rebuild the trust necessary for relationship reconciliation, often regardless of the wrong or the type of relationship if you’re willing to do the work.

by Angela S. Young
Source:  http://www.spiritualliving360.com/index.php/how-to-restore-relationships-through-repentance-and-reconciliation-3805/

3 Years Of Love

Taking a break from working outside, enjoying the sunshine and cool breeze. Beauty always brings peace and stirs reflection, regarding life and love. Those who have been through much have a greater appreciation for experiencing beauty, knowing real love, having peace in one's mind and soul, and valuing that which or whom they don't want to lose. 

If you meet someone, friend or companion, who understands these things at the same level as you, you are blessed because you have found a friend forever...the kind that will always seek to understand, will always give you the benefit of the doubt, and always stand by you no matter what. These people truly care about YOU, not what they can get from you or how their relationship with you can benefit them.

" Any fool can be happy. It takes a man with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that makes us weep." - Clive Barker

" The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost." - G.K. Chesterton

Christ was the best reflection of this. Think about it...considering the span of time since the creation of the universe and the history of man, Jesus lived only 33 years and only ministered for 3. He wasted NO time, and everything He did had a purpose. He focused on only a few things in those few years he was with us, so wouldn't THOSE things be what God considers most important? Knowing God... loving others without judgement... enjoying friendship and brotherhood... caring for and respecting his mother/family... doing what He knew was right regardless of what people thought... understanding that those close to Him would let Him down (even betray or abandon) and He loved them anyway. 

But one of the things I appreciate the most, is that He desired and wasn't afraid to know people on a deeper level. He looked past their mask, their faults, their fears and their pain. He stepped outside of Himself and the things He was facing in His own life, regardless of how busy He was or how much was demanded of Him by others. He saw something beautiful and valuable inside each person, something worth His time and a piece of His heart. What a beautiful and wonderful thing. Only 3 years, and look what He did for the world ♡

Difficulty is Part of Our Growing

At times it is hard to hold on to what you believe...to have faith...to deal with the struggles you are faced with, doubting God will bring you to the other side. In the midst of it, know two things without question: 1. God really does love you, no matter what. 2. He ALWAYS knows what He is doing. You don't have to understand why or have all the answers. Clarity comes on the other side, your faith will grow, God's glory will be revealed, and if your attitude is right, you will be thankful and have learned to appreciate that which is most important. Philippians 1:6 & Romans 8:28

This was a tough week, but the worst is over, and the prayers of good friends were the key!  I am still praying for God to show me what it is about myself that needs to change, but based on His desire for me, not on my fears and regrets. Those of us who are always hardest on ourselves, tend to beat ourselves up, because we always want to do the right thing and be the right person. So, as I pick up the pieces and move forward, I will have faith that this is all part of my growing and it is because God loves me, not because He has misled or abandoned me. A good friend shared this with me this morning, so I am passing it on to you. It is a page from a devotional based on Isaiah 12:2 and Romans 8:6.  May God bless each of you today!

Our Core Purpose and the Battle to Protect It

We all know this verse John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Although God may have several purposes for us throughout our lives, I believe it all radiates from a hub at our core. Because of this, if the enemy can disrupt this in us, he knows that he can derail us from being who God means for us to be in this world.

My name, Kathy, means "pure one", and it is this that has been attacked my whole life. In my 20's, my friend C.J. gave me a word from the Lord. She said He was telling me "to guard my heart". I have had things happen over and over that have pushed me to the edge of snapping, becoming bitter and distrustful, which would affect the purity of my heart and undermine who God intends for me to be. It's happened again, and I am at the point where for self-preservation, I want to flip a switch and let my heart grow cold so I won't get hurt anymore. I know I cannot let that happen, but I know something needs to change in me. I need to figure out what God intends for me regarding my growth instead of letting my heart grow cold. This is the way in which the enemy is trying to destroy me.

Sometimes the enemy uses people or situations that we would never expect, to get his foot in the door to harm us.I would rather reach the end of my life with nothing but the relationships of the people I love and the knowledge that I have grown into the person God wants me to be, than to have everything and have missed the whole point. The meaning of real life is simple...love God...love others...and run the race to show yourself approved. Thank you God for all the people through the course of my life who have helped me run the race, and for the ones in my life who have brought me joy to want to run it!

4 Lies the Church Taught Me About Sex

4 Lies the Church Taught Me About Sex
by Lily Dunn, Relevant Magazine

I've heard people say that growing up as an evangelical meant they never talked about sex. This wasn’t my experience. I grew up in the thick of evangelical purity culture and we talked about sex A LOT. We just spent all of that time talking about how and why NOT to have it.

As someone who waited until I was married to have sex, I was assured that I would be guaranteed an easy and rewarding sex life. When reality turned out to be different, I was disappointed and disillusioned. Only through gradual conversations with other married friends did I realize I wasn’t alone.

I started to wonder if maybe the expectations themselves were wrong. Maybe what I’d been told or inferred about post-marital sex simply wasn’t true.

Here are four of the biggest lies about sex I believed before marriage...read more here

True Acceptance

4Him From Me Blog: True Acceptance:
by Jeff Lay

As people we want to be accepted. Whether it’s our ideals, who we are as people, or the clothes we wear, there is something inside us all that longs to belong. The old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together” is a perfect example of the truth of this. When society as a whole rejects us; we seek others like us so that we feel less alone.

Acceptance is defined in this way: the act of accepting something or someone or the quality or state of being accepted or acceptable. We spend a lifetime rejecting people and things that fail to fit our mold or standard. There simply isn’t time to waste on those who don’t look or think like us. We spend even more energy trying to gain acceptance ourselves. It may be through our job performance, where we live, our behaviors, or the way we dress, but on some level we all seek it; never fully grasping that the things of this world are constantly being shaken (Hebrews 12:27) and scattered so they we may come to the truth that we are already accepted in Jesus Christ.

While the wounds of rejection scar us from childhood, through our time as adults, to the grave; God has loved us unconditionally through the sacrifice of His son who died for the sins of this world. I’ve seen countless people wounded and bleeding from broken relationships with their parents. Many feel the pain of economic disadvantage and their exclusion because they couldn’t afford to wear the right clothes. But in Jesus Christ we are joined to our true Father and reconciled to God. We are clothed in righteous, not by our performance, but by the blood that was shed for our sins. Isaiah 61:10 says, “I will rejoice greatly in the LORD, My soul will exult in my God; For He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness”. God has not done this because we have looked or acted in a certain way. It is merely to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Jesus (Ephesians 1:6).

So stop striving for the acceptance of those around you... read more here

Time...Our Most Valued Asset

How, where, and in whom you invest your time shows what you value...and what you don't. Be careful how you spend it, since time and missed opportunities are elements of life you never get back. Are you giving your life to who or what is most important to you?  Be a good steward of your time, your energy, and your heart...and remember Who you belong to.

There is more meaning and purpose in life than happiness and the pursuit of it, but yes, part of becoming who you are supposed to be, includes increasing your exposure to people who are good for you, and decreasing your exposure to those who would harm and steal from you.

Ephesians 5:15-20
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

There is a direct correlation between how much you care about or value someone or something in your life and the amount of time and effort you put in. Be fully vested in that which is truly important to you. I don't think God every does anything half way. I pray I will always have the heart and endurance to put in what is required, especially for those I love, regardless of the fear, pain or fatigue I may experience at times. All these other things will pass away, but souls are eternal.

Never take the good people in your life for granted. Things can change so quickly and then they are gone. Loss comes in many forms, and you are usually never ready for it. Be thankful for them and love them while they are in your life, so that amidst the pain and grief, you won't have regrets.